Educating the little ones is not always easy, but there are some tips to foster respect and instill in your child the values you want him to follow in his life. Let’s see how to get it.
There are many ways to conceive the upbringing of the children of the home, and many ways to try to apply rules of behavior that allow to structure their behavior in an appropriate way. However, not all are recommended and consistent, and even some can lead to the opposite result to the desired one.
The most important thing is to know how to apply these rules from respectful parenting and not from pure unilateralism. In the following lines we will see several ideas about how to achieve it.
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How to educate a son or daughter from respectful parenting?
These are several key ideas to keep in mind when educating a child based on respect and a solid and really functional authority.
1. Get them to understand the rules of the home
Understanding this set of rules that regulate behavior at home doesn’t just mean knowing what can and can’t be done. In addition, it implies understanding the reason for the origin of these norms, their raison d’être; In a word, what are they really for?
Otherwise, the rules will be a source of frustration, because they will only be able to see their negative side and it will even seem cruel to them to have to limit their freedom for no apparent reason simply because the elders of the house have determined so.
Therefore, an explanation must be provided as to how the idea of applying each of the rules to be followed arose. These explanations must be adapted to the ability of the son or daughter to understand, and in this sense it is advisable to provide small narrative lines or short “stories”, instead of complex and nuanced descriptions about the dangers and risks to avoid or the needs to be satisfied by complying with these rules.
2. Invite them to take responsibility
In addition to the above, another of the fundamental elements of respectful parenting is not to assume that the youngest of the house are simply people who must be protected and educated. Even if they are very small, it is advisableto show them that we have them to contribute to the proper functioning of coexistence and home dynamics. Set the table, mop the floor, tidy up your room… Depending on your age, the complexity of these tasks can be greater or lesser.
How to get them involved in it? The most advisable thing is not to characterize it as a unilateral imposition, but as a way of showing that it is a person who grows more and more, gradually resembling adults and gradually assuming their roles and forms of behavior. Thus, performing these tasks will reinforce your self-esteem, being evidence that you are someone respected at home, and will motivate you to get involved in the proper functioning of relationships at home.
3. Boundaries must be clear
The rules must be very well defined, so that it is easy to know what is right and what is wrong. In this way, not only is the risk of breaching them minimized, but also the chances that our son or daughter feels that he or she has been the victim of an injustice is reduced if he or she has not respected them but is not aware of it.
4. The importance of assertiveness
The key to assertiveness is tofind a balance between self-respect and respect for others. For example, there are parents who avoid expressing their anger at the bad behavior of their son or daughter simply to avoid the discomfort that this would generate; And there are others who are too blunt when it comes to expressing themselves when they want to give a reprimand to the little ones in the house. Therefore, many psychotherapy techniques aim to train fathers and mothers with little previous experience in parenting in assertiveness.
5. Beyond words, we must set an example
The rules are useless if they are limited to letters written on a sign hanging on the fridge. They will only become a reality if everyone consistently complies with them. Therefore, we must not forget that this set of rules supposes a commitment on the part of all the people who are living together.
6. The authority goes through knowing how to motivate
In fatherhood and motherhood, authority before the little ones of the house does not mean imposing respect, but rather motivating to work as a team and each one from their possibilities. Therefore, we must know how to contribute pleasant and exciting elements to the lives of children, who see in the elderly a potential source of interesting knowledge and new experiences.
7. Time to reward and punish are key
It is very important that the consequences of good behavior and bad behavior are objectively reflected as soon as possible, without letting many hours or even days pass. Otherwise, the little ones will not learn from their mistakes or their successes.
Are you looking for psychological assistance services?
If you want to have professional psychological support to improve your parenting and homeschooling skills, contact me. My name is Tomás Santa Cecilia and I am a psychologist specialized in the cognitive-behavioral intervention model; For many years, I have been serving both individuals and companies to help them in areas such as emotional management, improving communication skills, conflict resolution, teamwork, and more. You can count on my services both in my consultation located in Madrid and online by video call.
To the classic question “what do you do?” I always answer “basically I am a psychologist”. In fact, my academic training has revolved around the psychology of development, education and community, a field of study influenced my volunteer activities, as well as my first work experiences in personal services.
