What is tantric sex and how to practice it?

The word Tantra refers to a series of esoteric books that come from Hinduism where certain rites, disciplines and sexual meditations are described. They were written more than two thousand years ago and are formed from the dialogue between the Hindu god Shiva, or penetrating power of focused energy, and his companion Shakti, who represents the female creative force which possesses the power of Tantra.

In ancient times, Tantra was a spiritual system where love of sexual type was a sacrament with its own traditions and rites. From his philosophy are born techniques that can be applicable in our lives and which have the potential to elevate relationships, all learning what it means to love consciously.

Although there are many who would like to be born taught in sex and relationships, the truth is that we are not born being good by nature. In addition, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to receive a good sexual education and although we believe ourselves children of the sexual revolution, almost subconsciously, we can carry a backpack loaded with guilt, fear, shame and insecurity. This silent charge can trap us and at the same time prevent us from enjoying the spiritual potential of sex.

For this reason, today we will make a small introduction to tantra, a whole philosophy that goes beyond sex. In addition, at the end of the article some of its techniques will be exposed in case you dare to start practicing with whoever you want.

• We recommend you read: “13 myths about sexuality (according to science)”

Tantra can be a great tool

It is considered a discipline with many levels of study andcan give us an unlimited degree of possibilities for pleasure, self-knowledge and personal growth. Like it or not, sex ends up challenging us in a very direct way and is part of our most intuitive and carnal being. However, it is not uncommon to feel sometimes contaminated by this crazy world in which we live, where sex has become another commodity of this neoliberal gear in the middle of which we find ourselves.

Therefore, tantra can provide very useful tools to those couples who seek to significantly change the way they relate, who want their love to last and stay alive over the years without losing the passion or fire that one day ignited those hearts. Of course, tantric sex does not promise instant results, because a practice is not enough to learn to practice and enjoy good sex. For this, an exercise of rapprochement and knowledge of one and the other is necessary, which must evolve and become intense with the passing of the days.

Los fundamentos del tantra

Tantra is based on the Chakras, which in Hinduism are “psychic” energy centers that are distributed throughout our body. The chakras are considered as “organs” of the subtle or energetic Body, which is distinct from the physical Body. Tantra understands that the body is divided into several layers. The outermost layer is the skin and bones, then the respiratory system and below the cognitive system. Finally there is the layer of the intuitive or psychic system of the body, which is understood as the most subtle layer (hence the name of Subtle Body), where the chakras are housed. Tantra firmly believes that it is from the stimulation of this last layer and its chakras that maximum physical and spiritual ecstasy can be reached.

What chakras are there?

Hinduism contemplates that there are seven main chakras. Each one is used as a generator and reservoir of energy and the other layers of the body are connected through channels called Nadis, nourishing the whole individual. In tantric art, each chakra has a symbol of a distinct lotus flower (each flower is composed of its own combination of colors and petals) and it is understood that each contains a positive and negative charge and a particular affinity with an element of nature (air, earth, water, etc.). In turn, it connects with one of the various senses of our body.

You could make the analogy that each chakra is a string of a guitar and how the musicians will know, when these are tuned they produce a harmonious sound. But these strings, over time (and in the same way as with a guitar), become out of tune. When the chakras are tuned, or rather, aligned, the person feels good, in harmony with himself and with the world around him.

As we have already mentioned, each chakra corresponds to a specific area of the body and it is thought that each one generates a particular form of organic impulse. The seven chakras line up through the center of the body and use the spine as the axis. The first is at its base and is called the base chakra (worth the redundancy) and according to tantric books its desire is to acquire and possess. The second is found in the genitals, its element is water and from it the sexual impulse is born.

The third is located behind the navel, relates to power issues and influences the digestive system. The fourth governs the breath, is located close to the heart and is considered a source of energy to connect intimately with people. The fifth, in the throat and influences the impulse of communication while the sixth chakra is located between the eyebrows and affects consciousness.

Finally, under the symbol of a lotus with a thousand petals, the seventh chakra is located at the crown and emanates a lot of energy to the outside. The tantric books indicate that the seventh is part of that realm of what we seek outside to be better. Maybe now, those of you who practice yoga begin to understand why the instructors say so much about “it is important to lengthen the crown”, because it is possible that it helps us to think better about what we really want in each moment of our lives.

Sexual and spiritual connection

We live in a crazy world and there are many people who tend towards the spiritual to find a little calm and inner peace. But sometimes, we want to make this path accompanied by a partner. This is where tantric yoga comes into play and returning to the beginning of this article and antiquity, it was the path that Hindu couples chose to heal mundane existential dilemmas, because this discipline allows people who have a partner to enjoy sex and at the same time experience spiritual satisfaction.

And how is this coexistence between the spiritual and the sexual achieved? For in the first chakra, also called Kundalini shakti Tantra, which literally means “coiled feminine energy” and exists to the same degree between men and women. In the resode the “creative energy” or “vital energy”. As this type of energy resides both within us and in the living world around us, something indicates that everyone within us has what we seek: to feel fulfilled with ourselves.

When the kundalini is stimulated, this chakra begins to unwind, releasing its energy upwards from the body, stimulating all the other chakras that proceed to it. It is like an “electric charge” that awakens all that sleeping consciousness. When this impulse reaches the seventh chakra, the one that resides in our mind, the person can reach Nirvana, a great spiritual ecstasy that translates into pleasure, breath and inner peace.

Now, achieving this tantric goal is not a matter of one day, just the opposite, because years of meditative study and devotion are required. However, there are a number of techniques that can help us start experimenting with this whole world. Currently there are many tantra seminars where one can go to start informing themselves. In the same way, there are also many books that can help us to know Tantra better.

How is tantric sex practiced?

First of all, you must unlearn everything you have been bombarded with for what it does to sex or, at least, begin to understand sex from another vision. In tantra there is no time or haste and it is practiced with a serene and calm state of mind. Today, we know that it is a difficult state to achieve, because we live in a world of liquid and changing nature.

For this reason, it is recommended first of all to practice a series of techniques (which also come from yoga) that allow us to modulate our breathing and make us enter a meditative state. It is possible that at the moment you start practicing it you do not feel excitement and it is very normal because it is a totally different practice from the one we are usually used to. Here are x techniques. Applying them or not is up to you.

• You may be interested: “Types of breathing: ways to breathe in yoga and meditation”

1. The kiss of the upper lip

It isa powerful kiss that is made between the space between the outer lips of the vulva and the clitoris. The person who practices it gently licks the outer lip using his tongue and lips to reach the “frenulum” of the vulva (very close to the clitoris). Meanwhile, the person to whom this wet kiss is being practiced, bites his lips and visualizes with his mind his clitoris and the “frenulum” (precisely where the soft licks of the companion are concentrated). You can experience very deep stimulation in the clitoris and even reach orgasm only through this kiss.

2. Hold the rod

In this technique either person grabs the penis with their fingers or hand and manipulates it, as if it were a rod, andmakes it pass from the perineum to the anus of the other person. If the other person has a clitoris, you can take advantage of it to pass it over and around it.

It is a very good method when the penis is not completely erect. Stimulation and contact with the vulva will normally inspire a quick erection but a soft or semi-soft penis can also offer orgasmic pleasure. Extra lubrication may be necessary to remove friction and enhance enjoyment.

3. Unite the energy poles

In this technique the hands are used. One of the two people must have a vulva. With the index finger and middle finger pressure is made at the entrance of the vagina without penetrating it, leaving access to the thumb towards the clitoris, all stimulating both parts. At the same time, you can rest your hand on the pubic bone by applying pressure. The movement must be minimal or static, as if it were a micro hug to the vulva.

There is a variation to this technique that consists of exerting pressure only on the pubic area while practicing oral sex.